• Excellent article Jordan! I agree with all the points you have raised with this article. Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson are, in truth, as dull as dish water. They were just…bland. The whole thing was just boring and I found myself wanting to gorge my eyes out to save me from this train wreck. Though I should point out, that most of the dialogue in the film comes straight from the novel; so it’s not just the screenwriter that is to blame; but Stephanie Meyer’s abysmal writing – the “I like to watch you sleep” actually comes from the novel itself! D:

    Overall though you have summed up exactly why the Twilight film sucks! So thank you very much! This article was brilliant!

  • Personally, I went through this phase where I went “eww Twilight sucks.. blah blah blah” because I was caught up in that whole Harry Potter vs. Twilight thing. I’ve always been a huge Harry Potter fan so obviously I was anti-Twilight.. Then my friend got into it for some reason and she hated it when I talked about how crappy it was. So I borrowed the books and read them. They weren’t as bad as I was expecting. The films were okay, but Jesus, Kristen Stewart’s acting is the worst. I’ve seen animals be more captivating on screen.

    The general idea of Twilight, looking past the creepy pregnancy and demon baby in the final book, wasn’t half-bad. The only thing that stunk was the fact that the vampires sparkle in the sunlight.. No, Stephanie Meyer, just no. They’re supposed to burst into flames, not sparkle. Anyway, the whole concept of the Native American legends about the shapeshifters and everything was generally interesting. I think it was Meyer’s execution of her ideas that made it not so good as a whole.. Then we can blame the films on Kristen Stewart and her horrible acting.

  • AmyPondIsAwesome

    Short version: Yes. It’s utter drivel.

    • YellowEternal

      Got there before I could!

  • GibbyBlogger

    It’s never been something that’s interested me, to be honest, but from what I’ve seen of it, it’s certainly not as great as the fans say…

    Great article, Jordan!

  • A great article Jordan but I can help but feel you’re the wrong person to write this. Twilight is a guilty pleasure for me and I enjoyed it but it was as fluffy as a romcom. A diehard Twilight fan would probably put up a better argument but this was still an eloquent and enjoyable article.

    • Thank you! Perhaps a Twilight fan may have been able to say why the first was so bad, but why they love the rest. But unless they’ve studied acting, directing or writing, they wouldn’t have been able to give the same insight into it that I gave. I reviewed the film based on those three points, which arguably are the foundations of a film :)

      • The Administrator

        I’m quite knowledgeable on script writing and I enjoy the Twilight movies on the simple level of I can turn my brain off and watch a romance. But all five Twilight movies break the script writing 101 rule, show don’t tell. I was going to write an article examining the Twilight Saga but I may present it as a kind of Counter Argument if you will, if that’s fine with you of course.

        • Well, I never said the writing was good in this review, so…

  • The Bloody Hurricane

    I have nothing but loathing for the Twilight series. Mind you, this isn’t based on the film, which apart from some small bits I’ve so far managed to avoid.

    I read the first book before the film came out. It was bloody awful, I didn’t start a new series until THG. Bella is one of the worst written female protagonists of all time, in my opinion. Bella stands out as a shamefully blatant attempt to be as many different types of Mary Sue as possible, and the author is awful at dialogue, such as the noted ‘I like watching you sleep.’ which is just plain weird. Speaking of plain weird, Meyer has a bizarre obsession with the word chagrin, often using it where it doesn’t make sense.

    I’ve barely scratched the surface of the problems with the series, but in fairness, that would take a lot of time I would want back.

  • Timhogan

    It could have been a good chick flick if it didn’t involve Vampires. But for someone that’s watched Vampire movies and shows for decades, to see them reduced to this is just….. sacrilege. A vampire that goes to high school…. saves the girl…. plays baseball…. and can’t go into the sun because they sparkle… that is everything a Vampire is not. A Vampire is a demon occupying a dead human body with a constant thirst for blood that is never quite quenched therefore they walk the night killing and drinking those unfortunate to cross their paths. To have watched the first movie without knowing what it was when it first came out… I just felt wrong. So yes, it really did suck as bad as people make it sound.

  • gwbutler94

    I actually gave the last Twilight film a 0/10. It’s that bad. No hyperbole; it’s THAT bad.

  • Yoshfiction

    Yes, yes it does. =P